Shamanic Purpose

Blood flowing. Earth. Woman.  I am her.  She is me.  We are one.  I don't especially like it.  This is not fluffy, and it is not often fun.  I listen to my friends in the New Age circuit talk about joy and love and the glow of opening up, and yes, I have so many moments like this each day, they are just the normal kind of diamond rolling light from the eyes moments I expect anymore.  What is more interesting at this particular juncture is the something else that is happening to me that has never happened before.  So, let me backtrack....


When I went through the process to become a semazen I  went through hell, and experienced heaven.  My life changed so radically it did not seem possible from the outside looking in.  I let go, and let go, and let go some more, until I wound up washed up on the sunny shores of California, resting for 5 months.  Then, I was tested again.  I fought and fought and fought and created a pathway back to the UK, set up a life here, and cancelled everything except for tea with friends and teaching.  Life opened up so beautifully, the fast rushes of diamond light which gave me glorious ecstasy sort of mellowed, and more grounded visionary experiences came to me through Ayahuasca and through trance dance.  I began to really communicate with and through my visions, and to map otherworlds of a scope I had not known before.  The Buffalo Vision was born.  

Then, last August I participated in a Sun Moon Native American dance.  I wrote about it some earlier.  The dance lasted 4 days, I was a dog soldier helping out, and I had the most powerful visions I have ever had.  They are so astounding that I will not speak of them except to say that they happened.  


Every one of these experiences was initiatory.  I thought that was enough, enjoyed a month off, a holiday in Spain....but it seems that now, our great creator has further plans for me, just as for all humanity.  Right now, as I am working in the capacity of raising consciousness both by teaching and by facilitating at Occupy, a great and mighty earthquake is rendering my soul.  I have never cried like this before!  Weeks solid now, in all of my private moments, and it does not stop.  I am doing ceremony and saying prayers as my intuition is teaching me, and everyday it does not stop.  I am astounded, begging the lord for mercy, saying please, please let this cup pass from me, and I know, I know that the prayer Jesus said on Gethsemane has been said by many many shamans and healers through time and space, and it is a prayer of mighty rendering.  

by Susan Seddon Boulet

This is a phase.  It will pass, as I learn to integrate the new perceptual pathways and the energies moving.  As I understand and use maps for this new terrain, it will settle.  It has happened before, the waves were just a little smaller then.  The spiral widens.  And now, I expect that these phases of the spiral will open and settle in waves like this for probably the rest of my life.  My close close friend was over the other night and she said, You cannot turn back now, or something very bad will happen, you are a star, and I cannot change it for you, only offer you a place to rest. 

This is the meaning of surrender, to give up ones life to something bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until there is no 'life' left, only no end.  "The time of the lone wolf is over.  Gather yourselves!  All that is done now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration." {Hopi Prophecy}  In a sacred manner, we walk.  In a sacred manner to the east, to the west, to the north, and to the south we walk.  In a sacred manner we walk upon the sky and under the bowels of the earth.  In a sacred manner we walk within our heart, our one beating heart.  I am finding my role and my purpose within new earth, or rather, it is finding me.  I cry now, in celebration, for this is a glorious wedding, and all of us are at the wedding feast.  


Much Love~